And while we are on the subject of drinking, here’s Patton Oswalt:
Southwest Airlines.
No more. I’m done. That’s it.
“Ladies and gentlemen, there’s a passanger with a young child who would like to be able to sit with her. As we are a very crowded flight, if there are two passengers who’d be willing to move so they could sit together –”
“Ma’am? We’ll move.”
“That was so nice of you guys. I can offer you free alcoholic beverages for the duration of the flight.”
The two guys who moved (FOR THE ENTIRE THIRTY-EIGHT MINUTE FLIGHT): “Aw yeah! Fuck yeah, ma-hun! Free booze! Par-tay! (etc. etc.)
Everyone else (FOR THE ENTIRE THIRTY-EIGHT MINUTE FLIGHT): “What the FUCK?! Why’nint that cunt SAY we’d get free fucking drinks?! No fair! Bullshit!”
If you’re HAPPY about getting free beer and cheap blended whiskey for thirty-eight minutes, or SAD about NOT getting free beer and cheap blended whiskey for thirty-eight minutes, you need to die. In a plane crash. And I get to fuck your eyes while we’re crashing.
Once upon a time I might have been one of those people and now, I think, I see them all the time.
Over the last couple of weeks both the Penthouse and the Paramount have upgraded their websites - the Penthouse scores marks for having their session grid available only a click away from the front page and the Paramount scores bonus marks for having the session grid right there on the front page - no extra clicking.
Paramount loses serious marks because the film titles aren’t clickable! You have to go to another menu to read about the films. Counter-intuitive, dudes.
My favourite aspect (in a schadenfreude-y sort of way) of the Paramount’s new design is the lack of attention to detail, as displayed in the following image (snapped today, may have been fixed by the time you get there but it has been like that for more than three weeks):
Notice how they manage to mis-spell the title of the film and all the members of the cast. Re-spect to Altman, though, as they got him right.
To prove that I’m not picking on them, here are a couple of choice Wellington chalk-typos. The first from a couple of weeks ago outside <forget the name, on the corner of Cuba and Vivian>:
(click to enlarge)
And my favourite, from outside The Caledonian last Summer (the blackboards and fences have since been taken down by the new management):
(click to enlarge)
One of the cheesiest ads of all time – for coffee! (via Coudal)
Suggested by Kottke (via Rivers Are Damp):
“Go here and look through random quotes until you find five that you think reflect who you are or what you believe.â€
Here are my five:
Our greatest pretenses are built up not to hide the evil and the ugly in us, but our emptiness. The hardest thing to hide is something that is not there.
Eric Hoffer (1902 - 1983)
I cannot say whether things will get better if we change; what I can say is they must change if they are to get better.
Georg Christoph Lichtenberg (1742 - 1799)
No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another.
Charles Dickens (1812 - 1870)
People are people, messy and mutable, combining differently with one another from day to day - even hour to hour.
Elizabeth Moon, The Speed of Dark, 2003
I’m better than dirt. Well, most kinds of dirt, not that fancy store-bought dirt… I can’t compete with that stuff.
Matt Groening (1954 - ), The Simpsons
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